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Orchard Counselling Practice
Didcot, Oxon
Tel: 01235 813370
E-mail: info@ocps.co.uk
You might like to consider the following notes before attending your first session.
Here are a few questions to help you see your problems more fully. We suggest you work through the questions before consulting a psychotherapist.
To see the problem
- What makes you think this is a problem?
- What difficulties have you had related to this problem?
- How have you been harmed by this problem? Have others been harmed too?
- What things might happen if you continue doing this?
- Do you have lots of reasons why you don't want to change this behaviour?
To clarify your feelings
- How do you feel about this problem? How strongly do you feel?
- What worries you about the future if you don't make a change? How concerned are you?
- How do you feel about yourself and your unwillingness to change up until this point? or
- How do you feel about getting into this situation and not getting out before now?
To determine if you are really interested in changing
- Can you summarise your reasons for making a change?
- What reasons are there for remaining the way you are? (pay offs for the "problem" behaviour)
- Considering the pro and cons, how strongly do you want to change?
- What is keeping you from making a firm, specific commitment to changing right now?
To see how optimistic or pessimistic you are about making the desired changes
- If you decide to try to change, how confident are you that you could do it? (Give your reasons)
- Do you have some ideas about how to make the changes? Will you need any help?
- Have you read about self-help methods for changing? or about therapies for changing?
- Do you know other people who have made these changes?
- When will you start?
The idea is to maximise in your mind the gap, the distance, between changing and staying the same. The greater the advantages of changing, as you see it, the greater your motivation. This is a crucial start. Reading more about your problem and its development, hearing more about other people solving a similar problem, and learning more about various methods of attacking the problem should give you even more hope and determination to get the job done. If you can't become firmly convinced to change and find yourself making a lukewarm attempt, you will probably not succeed. If changing doesn't seem worthwhile, maybe you should seek professional help. Others can help you think more about the above questions and your future. You need determination to change.
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